The
search for a broadcaster to revitalize Monday Night Football has been
concluded. It is now official that the ABC television network is even more
desperate than we thought. In hope of recapturing the golden age of gridiron
reporting, back when the one-of-a-kind verbosity of Howard Cosell found a
perfect foil in the "aw shucks" persona of Don Meredith, comedian
Dennis Miller was the surprise pick to join fellow newcomer Dan Fouts in the
booth alongside Al Michaels. Forgoing more predictable choices like a seasoned
sports journalist or another ex-jock, recently rehired producer, Don Ohlmeyer,
decided that radically shaking things up would be the quickest, if not the only
way to halt MNF’s steady decline in ratings.
The
curiosity factor alone should attract casual fans who might otherwise be
absorbed in an episode of "Ally McBeal", the theatrics of pro
wrestling, or surfing the web. At least for a game or two. But only football
loyalists are likely to stick around much longer than that, making them the
final judges of whether this gamble will pay off.
Opinion on the hiring of Miller ranges from outraged to gleeful. There is no denying that his youthful fan base will appreciate the livening up that Miller will bring to MNF. As for those who reacted with skepticism, they certainly have just cause of their own. Miller has never before worked in a football related job. The little commentary he has made on his HBO show about sports has been for the purpose of poking fun. But since it was made clear by Miller’s new employer that: "His role is not to come in and be the resident comic and do stand-up", one can only conclude that he will be required to provide some insightful discourse on the games. Ready or not, we’ll find out in about two months time how well he makes the transition from cleverly scripted monologues with liberal dashes of cursing tossed in, to live, rated PG analysis in a group setting. We’ll learn if it’s possible to be pretentious, and engaging, and discussing x’s and o’s at the very same time. Miller’s mission, now that he has chosen to accept it, is to add a touch of humor to the proceedings that is not laced with his trademark mockery.
Sports and
entertainment are merging closer by the day. Shaquille O’Neal wins scoring
titles and championships in between movie roles. Garth Brooks takes to the
baseball field as a pretend Met in between concerts. Oscar De La Hoya may score
more hits with his upcoming album than he did against Shane Mosley in his last
fight. After the initial surprise wore off, most people greeted the news of a
comedian broadcasting football games with recognition of its inevitability.
Nothing is sacred in this new millennium, except of course for the mighty
advertising dollars earned by each precious ratings point. If the hip, irreverent
rants of Dennis Miller attract additional viewers, even if many of them will be
tuning in just in case he falls flat on his face, then MNF has manufactured, at
least temporarily, a win-win situation. Only one thing about this scenario is
certain. If it works, there will be copycats. Maybe Chris Rock should start
preparing to cover the next World series.
In describing
his credentials to an incredulous media, Miller claimed that he has "a
nerd’s knowledge of football". Fellow nerds are disturbed by the watering
down of their favorite pastime that the hiring of Miller indicates. They want
their mechanics to know about cars than they do, their doctors to know more
about the workings of the human body, and their broadcasters to be more
knowledgeable about the sport that they're broadcasting. Fortunately for ABC,
however, those most likely to be alienated by Miller's apparent lack of
football know-how are also the ones least likely to click the remote to another
station. As long as there is a football game being played, it could be
described by Miller, the ghost of Howard Cosell, or Donald Duck. After all, if
they’ve been able to tune out their wives while watching games these many
years, how difficult can it be to tune out Miller?
In case they
can’t, however, my advice to the legions of fanatics out there is to set
dictionaries and encyclopedias on their coffee tables for reference purposes,
and to get ready for some football.
